marchia43: (Default)
So - some of you may know that my mum has dementia. She's had it for 8 years and her condition is steadily deteriorated.
Mum has been wandering over the last couple of weeks and on Saturday 17th June she disappeared sometime between 5pm – 9pm when the late evening carer came in. (Mum had disappeared on Saturday the 3rd of June)
Anyway after a huge search by the police (including the helicopter) and us she was found wandering the streets at 1.30am on Sunday 18th by some people who were on their way home from an evening out. Both times mum has been luckily found by good people – however this time she was very close to a not so good part of Bristol.
The people who found her found our contact details and brought her back to her house. my sister stayed with her overnight and we had to contact the out of hours social services and mum has been put into emergency respite care while we find a suitable place for her to stay long term.

Therefore at this moment in time mum is not at home, obviously, and I don’t see her going back there.

It’s been particularly stressful and upsetting as we have all known for a while that mum needs to be in a care home – we just didn’t want to get there.

The home she is currently in is lovely, but quite expensive which is why social services want to move her out. My sister and I have been to see a couple of homes and we have seen one we would be happy for her to go and live in, we just need to get social services to agree it.

All in all it has been very stressful and the guilt I feel at putting her in a home has been very bad.

I have to say that she has settled remarkably well into this home and as Rich (my partner) says 'it is a sign of how bad her dementia is that she has settled in there so well.' but as a child of a parent who has always said she never wanted to go into a home - you feel so guilty...

So life has been chaotic, busy, stressful and generally shit at the moment.

marchia43: (Default)
I seriously do not have any time to myself lately.
I work Mon- Fri 9am - 5pm and then spend about 5 hours at mums on Saturday (so today really) and then a further 3 hours there on Sunday.
I am so tired.... tired of looking after her, which is a really bad thing to admit, but watching your mother's slow gradual decline due to dementia is so bloody sad. Seriously, if I get a dementia diagnosis? I will make my plans and sort myself out before it gets too bad.
I do sometimes worry that it is hereditary... I've searched and found that the chances of me getting dementia are between 30-50% How crap is that!
Anyway - Monday is a bank holiday here in the UK and for the first time in probably over a year and a half, Rich and I are going out to Berkley Castle for a day, just the two of us. Now, we have obviously been on holiday to the USA last year, and Vienna at New Year - but those are holidays... I'm talking about literally taking a day for the two of us. We really need it.
I have attempted to embed the media, but I am not sure it is going to work - so here is the Url of the website for Berkely.
We have been there before but about 15 years ago, so it will be nice to do something together

Hope you are all okay

marchia43: (Default)
LOL. I'm not 100% sure what/how i am doing trying to learn DW. LJ is easy to use and I am not sure about DW yet!

In other news, I have had to put an official complaint in with our local Social Services as they are not listening to us about anything to do with mums care...Sigh!!

It is very stressful

marchia43: (Default)
So I've not been around for months - for which I apologise but real life has been hell since January. My mum (who has vascular dementia) has been ill, hospitalised and we (the family) have been battling with social services to get her in a care home, which they are completly ignoring.... anyway it is all very stressful

Anyway as with a lot of people I have imported all my LJ stuff on to Dreamwidth... my username is the same Marchia43

Link to my journal is below, if you wish to join me then great..

I'm probably not going to be around for a while now as life is just kicking me in the ass all the time....

marchia43: (Dean in Purgatory)
Now, in my opinion money isn't the route of all evil - it's religion. I live in the UK and two days ago two men chased and practically decapitated a man in Woolwich in London.
I was really shocked by this. The guy was a soldier and had been in Afghanistan but was back home. The guys who killed him were, allegedly, muslims who wanted to start a war in the UK...
Why can't people just let others believe what they want and just get on with their own lives?
I'm not particularly religious and maybe if I was I would have a better, more biased, opinion but who knows.
I feel sorry for the soldiers family, (A) because they know how horribly their loved one died, (B) because the soldier was back home, they felt he was safe.
I also feel sorry, to a certain degree, to people of the muslim faith (because that was what the guys who did it said they were!) because I fear the backlash that will happen to ordinary, peaceful muslims.
Part of me wishes we lived in a more insular society where people who believed one thing lived together and people who believed other things lived together and neither met at all.... if that makes sense.
Ultimately I don't see any benefit in religion if people truly believe it is right to hack someone to death, which let's be honest here is what they did, in the name of their god...
Sorry if people are upset by this post, but I just felt I had to put something down somewhere.


marchia43: (Default)

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