tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163 marchia43 marchia43 2018-02-17T19:59:36Z tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163:147254 2018-02-17T19:59:36Z 2018-02-17T19:59:36Z public 0 So, I've not been on here much over the last year or so. <br /><br />I've missed birthdays, postings, fic, and generally just chatting to people. I missed the christmas exchanges, the SPN BigBang, pretty much everything. <br /><br />Real life is being a right git and I haven't had the inclination to write things that no-one is really interested in or anything that is interesting to be honest! LOL<br /><br />I don't know how to put the next bit under a cut in the new version of the posting bit so... ignore it and move on...<br /><br />Mum has vascular dementia and went missing twice in June 17, she has now moved into a very nice care home, but it's been a nightmare sorting out her house, getting rid of 60 years worth of crap (she's 80) and then watching the person you have always relied on, loved, talked to, change. The person who comes to my house on a Saturday for lunch is not my mum, don't get me wrong - she looks like my mum, she laughs sometimes like my mum, but the person there is a stranger; and that is hard to get your head around. She doesn't know my name and I am pretty sure she has no idea who I am.<br /><br />It hit me pretty hard a couple of weeks ago when I was ill and I was driving home and I thought "I know, I'll pop in and see mum." and then realised that I couldn't as it would disrupt her life in the care home (she sees me as the person who takes her out, so me just turning up to sit in her room with her would freak her out!)<br /><br />Collapse<br />So almost 8 months later her dementia is increasingly getting worse. She seems to have lost the ability to eat properly, cannot hold a conversation, drifts off in the car while I'm driving her home and can be very snappish.<br /><br />Anyway I suppose the point of this post was just to say I'm still here but a bit depressed and lacking in any kind of enthusiasm for anything...<br /><br />But it will eventually get better... It has to! LOL<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=marchia43&ditemid=147254" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163:146961 2017-07-14T20:29:05Z 2017-07-14T20:29:05Z public 0 So mum seems to be settling into the new care home and appears to love one of the career, a woman called Tracy.<br /><br />I'm going to see mum on Sunday and take her out for lunch, which should be great. My sister took my Neice to see her on Wednesday and said she was laughing and dancing with one of the men in the care home. :) <br /><br />I've just had an argument with my brother.... both him and my sister are behaving appallingly. Both of them are circling like vultures over mums stuff saying that they want this and that out of the house - neither of them are prepared to pay for it, which they should do, even if it was a token amount. My brother especially is becoming terrible. It turns out he has 'offered' stuff to his friends!!! FFS, she's not dead!<br /><br />All I have taken from mums house is the stuff I gave her, and ONE single photo of her parents. <br /><br />We've now been told that as the house is a council house we have to remove everything by 11th August INCLUDING the carpets and curtains, FFS!!!<br /><br />Anyway I have missed the SPN Bigbang - will have to try to catch up with it on AO3.... <br /><br />Life is just so bloody stressful right now, I think I am getting stress related Ezcema! Blimey<br /><br />Anyway I am sorry this is a ranty, ranty post and not at all cheerful.... life really is shite at times<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=marchia43&ditemid=146961" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163:146726 2017-06-25T14:58:34Z 2017-06-25T14:58:34Z public 0 So - some of you may know that my mum has dementia. She's had it for 8 years and her condition is steadily deteriorated.<br />Mum has been wandering over the last couple of weeks and on Saturday 17th June she disappeared sometime between 5pm – 9pm when the late evening carer came in. (Mum had disappeared on Saturday the 3rd of June)<br />Anyway after a huge search by the police (including the helicopter) and us she was found wandering the streets at 1.30am on Sunday 18th by some people who were on their way home from an evening out. Both times mum has been luckily found by good people – however this time she was very close to a not so good part of Bristol.<br />The people who found her found our contact details and brought her back to her house. my sister stayed with her overnight and we had to contact the out of hours social services and mum has been put into emergency respite care while we find a suitable place for her to stay long term.<br /><br />Therefore at this moment in time mum is not at home, obviously, and I don’t see her going back there. <br /><br />It’s been particularly stressful and upsetting as we have all known for a while that mum needs to be in a care home – we just didn’t want to get there.<br /><br />The home she is currently in is lovely, but quite expensive which is why social services want to move her out. My sister and I have been to see a couple of homes and we have seen one we would be happy for her to go and live in, we just need to get social services to agree it. <br /><br />All in all it has been very stressful and the guilt I feel at putting her in a home has been very bad.<br /><br />I have to say that she has settled remarkably well into this home and as Rich (my partner) says 'it is a sign of how bad her dementia is that she has settled in there so well.' but as a child of a parent who has always said she never wanted to go into a home - you feel so guilty...<br /><br />So life has been chaotic, busy, stressful and generally shit at the moment.<br /><br />M<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=marchia43&ditemid=146726" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163:146496 2017-05-27T16:26:33Z 2017-05-27T16:26:33Z public 0 I seriously do not have any time to myself lately.<br />I work Mon- Fri 9am - 5pm and then spend about 5 hours at mums on Saturday (so today really) and then a further 3 hours there on Sunday.<br />I am so tired.... tired of looking after her, which is a really bad thing to admit, but watching your mother's slow gradual decline due to dementia is so bloody sad. Seriously, if I get a dementia diagnosis? I will make my plans and sort myself out before it gets too bad. <br />I do sometimes worry that it is hereditary... I've searched and found that the chances of me getting dementia are between 30-50% How crap is that! <br />Anyway - Monday is a bank holiday here in the UK and for the first time in probably over a year and a half, Rich and I are going out to Berkley Castle for a day, just the two of us. Now, we have obviously been on holiday to the USA last year, and Vienna at New Year - but those are holidays... I'm talking about literally taking a day for the two of us. We really need it. <br />I have attempted to embed the media, but I am not sure it is going to work - so here is the Url of the website for Berkely. <a href="http://www.berkeley-castle.com">http://www.berkeley-castle.com</a><br />We have been there before but about 15 years ago, so it will be nice to do something together<br /><br />Hope you are all okay<br />Love<br />M<br /><br />http://www.berkeley-castle.com<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=marchia43&ditemid=146496" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163:146194 2017-04-23T18:17:05Z 2017-04-23T18:17:05Z public 0 LOL. I'm not 100% sure what/how i am doing trying to learn DW. LJ is easy to use and I am not sure about DW yet! <br /><br />In other news, I have had to put an official complaint in with our local Social Services as they are not listening to us about anything to do with mums care...Sigh!!<br /><br />It is very stressful<br /><br />M<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=marchia43&ditemid=146194" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163:146170 2017-04-20T14:15:33Z 2017-04-20T14:15:33Z amused public 0 So since December 2015 I've been watching Emmerdale and especially the phenomenon which is Robron.<br /><br />Essentially two male characters from the show have been through hell and back and have finally just got together....and then Emmerdale has decided to throw in a bit of cheating and a suspected baby with a fling...<br /><br />Anyway I really like the show and have been an avid fan since 2015. <br /><br />Anyone know any good Robron sites on Dreamwidth, I'd love to find them!<br /><br />M<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=marchia43&ditemid=146170" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-07-25:1688163:145733 2017-04-20T13:50:42Z 2017-04-20T13:50:42Z accomplished public 0 So I've not been around for months - for which I apologise but real life has been hell since January. My mum (who has vascular dementia) has been ill, hospitalised and we (the family) have been battling with social services to get her in a care home, which they are completly ignoring.... anyway it is all very stressful<br /><br />Anyway as with a lot of people I have imported all my LJ stuff on to Dreamwidth... my username is the same Marchia43<br /><br />Link to my journal is below, if you wish to join me then great..<br /><br /><a href="https://marchia43.dreamwidth.org/">https://marchia43.dreamwidth.org/</a><br /><br />I'm probably not going to be around for a while now as life is just kicking me in the ass all the time....<br /><br />M<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=marchia43&ditemid=145733" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments